Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why would the state lie about the Earth's shape? We know that it's flat, but why do they lie and tell us that it is a sphere?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What are the defining characteristics of woke liberals and conservatives in the United States?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What kind of book did you write after turning 55?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What's your review of "The Queen Who Ever Was," Episode 8 of Season 2 of 'House of the Dragon' (spoilers)?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How do I stop having work crushes because I only keep getting disappointed almost every day as I keep seeing they don’t like me back and won’t ever ask me out?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

California schools are very liberal. Do you think California schools are teaching students to hate Republican views (views on: God, guns, prayer, secure borders, etc.)?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why do people who were very kind and loving once become cold-hearted?

I don’t cotton to rapists

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I can read

How can you maintain self-control?

I see through liars

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why did the UK Supreme Court rule that transgender women are not women?

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What ended your relationship with your best friend?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Relocating to Sweden to save money. I got a job offer of 47000SEK before tax, visas sponsored for my wife & my mother (with a laryngectomy). My wife, a general medicine graduate, wants to specialize in Sweden. Can we live well and save 4000€ monthly?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I actually pay taxes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”